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NEWS FLASH
THEY ARE STEALING OUR COWS!
BERKELEY, CA, March 13, 2006 — In what appears to be the result of extraterrestrial
encounters, dairy farmers are reporting a rash of cow disappearances in California’s heartland.* Eyewitnesses claim
to have seen alien beings combing cow pastures for what they call a “magic white serum” that enhances bone strength,
promotes muscle recovery, prevents cavities, and takes the edge off insomnia and PMS.
“This wonder tonic is
exactly what we’ve been looking for,” declared one alien scientist in a recent interview. “Thanks to DA-IRY,
our brittle-boned, sleep-deprived citizens will have relief, at last.”**
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